19.9.10
Himno Nacional
It is 11:00 pm. My room doesn’t have a door. Someone nearby is listening to the radio. The Bolivian national anthem is playing on the radio. Many of my friends will laugh at me when they read this, because you know that I would never admit to being someone who gets goosebumps at the sound of the Star Spangled Banner. Well, I will admit it. I am that person. And it’s not only the Star Spangled Banner.... America the Beautiful and God Bless the USA as well. They move me and make me feel, dare I say it, “Proud” to be an American. And in the silence of the night, as I am preparing for bed, el Himno Nacional de Bolivia is giving me that same feeling, proud to be an American.... a South American. My ex boyfriend would always correct me for using the phrase “American” to describe someone from the United States, because truthfully we are all Americans. As I study more about Andean worldview and the history of this country I am falling more and more in love with the place and the people that is Bolivia. Sometimes I forget where I am. Sometimes I feel like I could run into an old friend from college in the supermarket if I wanted. That is , of course, impossible. I am here, in Bolivia. It’s true. I’ve been in this country for over a year of my life. Sometimes it just hits me. I live here. This is my home. The while city in the heart of south America. (Go ahead, listen to our national anthem)
13.8.10
Ama Háp´a
Sé Fiel.
Be Faithful.
Today in my seventh grade social studies class I taught the basics of Inca religion. Pachakamaq, the creator god who is represented by the sun, the sons of Pachakamaq, the Incas (Note: according to the people group Incas, the word Inca was used to describe the leader, the king), the concept of Equilibrium that governed Incan life, and La CHaKana, the four values in Incan society. One of which, Ama Háp´a is the challenge I am facing recently.
Ama Háp´a: Sé Fiel.... Be Faithful.
I have spent every afternoon for the last three weeks running aroung downtown Sucre working on the tramite (paperwork) for my Bolivian Residency. On monday, I believed that I had finally, after three months of working on this Visa process, arrived at the day that I would turn in ALL of my paperwork and be well on my way to being a Bolivian resident. And then I was told that I needed to do even more on Monday, and Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and now today, Friday the 13th. Each day I left discouraged. "Come back on Monday", the lawyer told me as I tried to turn my paperwork into immigration.
The new semester is well underway and I am seeing how different my life is this semester from the last. Not only have my classes, my house, and my schedule changed, but I realized quickly after returning to Sucre that many of my relationships were changing as well. For someone who has moved nine times in the last six years, I don´t handle change very well. It has difficult to adjust to these changing relationships. I have often found myself walking the tightrope between longing for what was and enjoying what is. How can be faithful to ambas relaciones?
I recognized months ago that I was in a time of "training," although I truthfully could not tell you for what I am in training. I am being stretched, frustrated and broken. And yet I know that I am supposed to be here. I simply need to be faithful.
Ama Háp´a. I guess you can´t just give up on faithfulness. You can´t press a fast forward button. You simply must wait.
Oh Lord, Grant me your faithfulness.
Be Faithful.
Today in my seventh grade social studies class I taught the basics of Inca religion. Pachakamaq, the creator god who is represented by the sun, the sons of Pachakamaq, the Incas (Note: according to the people group Incas, the word Inca was used to describe the leader, the king), the concept of Equilibrium that governed Incan life, and La CHaKana, the four values in Incan society. One of which, Ama Háp´a is the challenge I am facing recently.
Ama Háp´a: Sé Fiel.... Be Faithful.
I have spent every afternoon for the last three weeks running aroung downtown Sucre working on the tramite (paperwork) for my Bolivian Residency. On monday, I believed that I had finally, after three months of working on this Visa process, arrived at the day that I would turn in ALL of my paperwork and be well on my way to being a Bolivian resident. And then I was told that I needed to do even more on Monday, and Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and now today, Friday the 13th. Each day I left discouraged. "Come back on Monday", the lawyer told me as I tried to turn my paperwork into immigration.
The new semester is well underway and I am seeing how different my life is this semester from the last. Not only have my classes, my house, and my schedule changed, but I realized quickly after returning to Sucre that many of my relationships were changing as well. For someone who has moved nine times in the last six years, I don´t handle change very well. It has difficult to adjust to these changing relationships. I have often found myself walking the tightrope between longing for what was and enjoying what is. How can be faithful to ambas relaciones?
I recognized months ago that I was in a time of "training," although I truthfully could not tell you for what I am in training. I am being stretched, frustrated and broken. And yet I know that I am supposed to be here. I simply need to be faithful.
Ama Háp´a. I guess you can´t just give up on faithfulness. You can´t press a fast forward button. You simply must wait.
Oh Lord, Grant me your faithfulness.
21.7.10
The Juice.... Is Worth the Squeeze. And when the Fruit is out of Season?
It seems I am only driven to write when my heart and my head are all a mess. The lastr blog I wrote entitiled choque, occured shortly before a crash of love, life and romance. What happens when the "perfect" person prances into your already perfect life and makes eveything significantly more complicated. A crash.
That was in April. This is July. The seasons have changed. The cold has come to Bolivia. Remembering back to the state of my heart at the writing of the last post, it seems, that as the searons have changed, so have I.
I took some time to escape the Bolivian winter in the Heat of Summer in the North It was lovely.
I came back home to a whirwind of change. With the gush, this little leaf might finally have found where she was meant to fall.
Returning to Sucre has represented a change of house, of job discription, social circle. It has also marked a renewing of sense of direction and passion. They once called me Fire... maybe one day, I will be deserving of that name.
I have speant the last several months slowly getting to know many of the niños trabajadores who work on the streets of Sucre. My first day back in the plaza with many new friends, I found myself eating lunch in the market with nine street kids. I have learned their stories and learned thier dreams- many of which are satisfied by a successful day of shining the shoes of tourists and good Bolivan Catholics in the plaza outside the cathedral. What do you really want to do when you get older? Be in charge of the shoe shiners.
The kids on the street, like the kids in my private school in Khatalla call me profe. The same age as many of my students, I listen to them read and challenge them with math problems. SOmetimes we paint. Sometimes they fight. We always laugh. Their laughs are so similar to the kids in the school.... their lives, so very different. And there I am, challenging them to be better and to work top be more than shoe shiners, that life has more to offer than 5 Bolivianos. Edgar, Juan, Wiler, Angél, Flora y Paolita.... are smart, talend kids.... but they will never have the opprotuinities that Carmen, Lizeth, David, Obed y Carla will have. The few services that exist to help niños trtabajadores are not working to take them off the street. They are not working to teach them real skills. Why is it that the church´s answer is always another Horita Feliz?
Committed to a school that these kids may never enter, My heart is burdened by the question, what will my answer be? The Fruit is in the squeezer-....
That was in April. This is July. The seasons have changed. The cold has come to Bolivia. Remembering back to the state of my heart at the writing of the last post, it seems, that as the searons have changed, so have I.
I took some time to escape the Bolivian winter in the Heat of Summer in the North It was lovely.
I came back home to a whirwind of change. With the gush, this little leaf might finally have found where she was meant to fall.
Returning to Sucre has represented a change of house, of job discription, social circle. It has also marked a renewing of sense of direction and passion. They once called me Fire... maybe one day, I will be deserving of that name.
I have speant the last several months slowly getting to know many of the niños trabajadores who work on the streets of Sucre. My first day back in the plaza with many new friends, I found myself eating lunch in the market with nine street kids. I have learned their stories and learned thier dreams- many of which are satisfied by a successful day of shining the shoes of tourists and good Bolivan Catholics in the plaza outside the cathedral. What do you really want to do when you get older? Be in charge of the shoe shiners.
The kids on the street, like the kids in my private school in Khatalla call me profe. The same age as many of my students, I listen to them read and challenge them with math problems. SOmetimes we paint. Sometimes they fight. We always laugh. Their laughs are so similar to the kids in the school.... their lives, so very different. And there I am, challenging them to be better and to work top be more than shoe shiners, that life has more to offer than 5 Bolivianos. Edgar, Juan, Wiler, Angél, Flora y Paolita.... are smart, talend kids.... but they will never have the opprotuinities that Carmen, Lizeth, David, Obed y Carla will have. The few services that exist to help niños trtabajadores are not working to take them off the street. They are not working to teach them real skills. Why is it that the church´s answer is always another Horita Feliz?
Committed to a school that these kids may never enter, My heart is burdened by the question, what will my answer be? The Fruit is in the squeezer-....
9.4.10
A Choque... To say the Least.
It has been some time since I have written. I don´t really believe that anyone reads this. If I thought they did, I think I would be more moptivated to write. Dear reader (s), if you are out there in the world of cyber space, send me a hello, so that I know you exist, and so that I know that my words are not lost in a sea of web pages and electronic diaries.
Today´s topic- Love, loss, y extrañar.
I recently told someone that my heart has experienced a choque... a collision.
For most opf m y life, I have felt that my heart has been gashed by a collision. A collision of worlds, a collision of thoughts, of people and of who I am.
A love that I thought would last forever... Choque
A passion thathas encountered reality..... Choque
A desire to be in ten places at once... Choque
When the world becomes a choque, hay que siguir caminando... y Siguir adalante.
And so I will walk forward. I am looking for purpose and looking for answers. For now... I will walk one step at a time, taking hold of my Daddy´s hand, and float in the mystery of the questions. The mystery of his grace.
Oh Lord, Don´t let me fall.
I miss you all.
Profe Teacher.
Today´s topic- Love, loss, y extrañar.
I recently told someone that my heart has experienced a choque... a collision.
For most opf m y life, I have felt that my heart has been gashed by a collision. A collision of worlds, a collision of thoughts, of people and of who I am.
A love that I thought would last forever... Choque
A passion thathas encountered reality..... Choque
A desire to be in ten places at once... Choque
When the world becomes a choque, hay que siguir caminando... y Siguir adalante.
And so I will walk forward. I am looking for purpose and looking for answers. For now... I will walk one step at a time, taking hold of my Daddy´s hand, and float in the mystery of the questions. The mystery of his grace.
Oh Lord, Don´t let me fall.
I miss you all.
Profe Teacher.
23.2.10
Not much time, A quick thought
I am feeling at home and comfortable in my job at the school. Tomorrow I will add swimming instructor to my resume.
Thoughts as of lately: The trininty = Community
If God does it, it must be a pretty good thing. Than Why don´t we?
Thought 2 Christians escaping the world. It´s tragic to see, yet it is very much the reality of the Evangelical (or non-Catholic) Church in Bolivia. The two churches are so seperate here. And so are they seperate from the unchurched. I am not saying that it is our job to Church the unchurched, but maybe simply to be Christ where one would not look for him.
I am becoming more and more convinced that Christ would be in a bar rather than a worship service if he Getting a new roommate tonight
Heart Happy
Love from Bolivia
Thoughts as of lately: The trininty = Community
If God does it, it must be a pretty good thing. Than Why don´t we?
Thought 2 Christians escaping the world. It´s tragic to see, yet it is very much the reality of the Evangelical (or non-Catholic) Church in Bolivia. The two churches are so seperate here. And so are they seperate from the unchurched. I am not saying that it is our job to Church the unchurched, but maybe simply to be Christ where one would not look for him.
I am becoming more and more convinced that Christ would be in a bar rather than a worship service if he Getting a new roommate tonight
Heart Happy
Love from Bolivia
27.1.10
Quick Catch Up. Thank YOU.
It has been almost a year and a half since I last made a post on a blog. I am, by the standards of almost anyone, a terrible blogger. I may have the thoughts or adventures to make a better blog, but since 2008 I have never shared them with you.
You. The 27 views that "A Carmen Called Jenna" currently has. You faithful 5 readers who have occasionally checked to see if I have written. You who were time and again, disappointed. Well, to the few and the proud, this one's for YOU.
Let me catch you up on what has happened since the last posting when I had just moved to Cochabamba Bolivia. 4 months in Cochabamba. Amazing. I fell in love with the country and fell in love with a Bolivian man.
A firm believer in the power of love to overcome any obstacle, the Bolivian man and I entered into a long distance, international, cross-cultural, bilingual romantic relationship via Skype while I finished my 2 degrees at Azusa Pacific Univesity. It was a beautiful story. One that helped push me back in the direction of South America, back to Bolivia.
In November I took a job as a Psychology/ English teacher at a small rural school outside of Sucre (14 hours from Cochabamba). In December and January, my 14 month relationship with the Bolivian ended. (I won't go into all the sappy details, right now, this is just to catch YOU up)
Today: I am back in Colorado. I just said good bye to my life in California, to the beautiful friends and people there. I said good bye to a place in the heart of no-where, a place that holds my heart. I am about to say good-bye, again, to my childhood home. Though I may have moved, I do believe that relationships do not change based on location. I've heard it said that some people come into our lives for a season for a specific reason. I do not agree with that. Relationships, friendships... are not meant to be traded in for the latest fashion trends and newest neighbor. Real friendships are meant to be life long, living and breathing... they are meant, I am convinced to be a BODY.
Now, again, my body is leaving the many other bodies who mean so much to me. I believe that I am following the will of the Head and Heart of the Body. It is a will that takes us on a journey into the great unknown.
In this time of not knowing, I invite you to join me. It will be an adventure.
You. The 27 views that "A Carmen Called Jenna" currently has. You faithful 5 readers who have occasionally checked to see if I have written. You who were time and again, disappointed. Well, to the few and the proud, this one's for YOU.
Let me catch you up on what has happened since the last posting when I had just moved to Cochabamba Bolivia. 4 months in Cochabamba. Amazing. I fell in love with the country and fell in love with a Bolivian man.
A firm believer in the power of love to overcome any obstacle, the Bolivian man and I entered into a long distance, international, cross-cultural, bilingual romantic relationship via Skype while I finished my 2 degrees at Azusa Pacific Univesity. It was a beautiful story. One that helped push me back in the direction of South America, back to Bolivia.
In November I took a job as a Psychology/ English teacher at a small rural school outside of Sucre (14 hours from Cochabamba). In December and January, my 14 month relationship with the Bolivian ended. (I won't go into all the sappy details, right now, this is just to catch YOU up)
Today: I am back in Colorado. I just said good bye to my life in California, to the beautiful friends and people there. I said good bye to a place in the heart of no-where, a place that holds my heart. I am about to say good-bye, again, to my childhood home. Though I may have moved, I do believe that relationships do not change based on location. I've heard it said that some people come into our lives for a season for a specific reason. I do not agree with that. Relationships, friendships... are not meant to be traded in for the latest fashion trends and newest neighbor. Real friendships are meant to be life long, living and breathing... they are meant, I am convinced to be a BODY.
Now, again, my body is leaving the many other bodies who mean so much to me. I believe that I am following the will of the Head and Heart of the Body. It is a will that takes us on a journey into the great unknown.
In this time of not knowing, I invite you to join me. It will be an adventure.
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